1. Someone heads toward the bathroom you just fouled. “Excuse me, ahem, sorry, don’t go in there. You really have to pee? Well, I just don’t recommend it. Really. Please.”
2. “Are these your panties I found on the bathroom floor?”
3. Brother: “You bought me underwear for my birthday?” Sister: “Yeah, your undies have enormous holes in them. Like right in the balls area.”
4. Your nose crinkles in horror. Did someone fart? Or was that a baby poop?! Ugh.
5. “What is that… smell? Oh. You made dinner. For everyone? Oh, that’s cool. I, uh, um thanks but I just ate.” You both look down at your stomach when it growls loudly and suspiciously.
6. To brother: “Hey, get my bra off your head.”
7. “No, I wasn’t just making faces at myself and taking selfies in the mirror for the past ten minutes.”
8. The door opens suddenly. Your arms and hands clap over your body parts in horror as you huddle uncomfortably over the toilet. “I’m in here!” You scream out as someone yells back, “Oh my god, lock the door next time!”
9. “Mom! Mom, where are you? Can I have a snack?” You shout back through the door, “Ask me when I get out of here!” The child’s voice is insistent. “No, Mom, I’m hungry. Can I have a snack?” Your own voice becomes shrill and exasperated. “No, I’m using the bathroom, can’t you give me a few minutes? And thanks, by the way. Now everyone knows!”
10. That moment a fart slips in front of someone. Oh my.