Tale of the Terrible Tooth Fairy

***Disclaimer – Not Suitable for Children***

My hand swooped blindly under the closest pillow. Nothing. I slowly slid my fingers around the sheets. Still nothing. I grimaced and climbed down from the edge of the bunk bed.  Sneaking around the perimeter, I searched the next pillow in my reach.  A hard iPad case greeted me.  Fine.  I hoisted myself up to perch on the bottom bed and grasped the top rails carefully, using my teeth to keep track of the dollar bills. Eww. Yeah, that’s gross.

I closed my eyes in the dark and reached farther.  Warm skin. Oops.  My bare feet moved across the bottom rail as the bed creaked with my weight. I reached farther, elbow scraping through the top and middle slats. Stuffed animal arm. That’s not it. I stretched with my ear against the rails and was rewarded with a tiny tooth fairy pillow.  Score!  I slid it out from under the pillow with excitement.

Clink. Clink-clink-clink-CLUNK-clink.

OMG. I lost the tooth.

The tooth must have fallen out of the tiny pillow, bounced around the desk next to the bed, and against the wall.  I would never find it in the dark. I folded the money into the pocket of the pillow and shook my head as I slid it under my daughter’s head.

A hand grabbed onto my calf and I twitched in shock, suspended at the edge of the bunk bed.  “Mom, what are you doing?” My oldest daughter said, as she held onto me.

I shook my leg free. “Nothing. Shhhh.”

My shoulders hunched in shame at my epic failure as I failed to exit like a ninja. The door clattered loudly as I continued my retreat. I hope I remember to find that tooth before they do.


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