You know you are a parent when….

1. Your baby coughs in your mouth and you barely bat an eye.

2. People stare at your chest until you realize it’s not admiration, but disgust toward the baby snot smeared all over it.

3. You are eating cookies with your kids and need to interrogate them. “Who licked a cookie and put it back?” Everyone feigns innocence while your tongue screams out that it was soggy.

4. You frantically roll the windows down while gasping, “Who did it? Who did it?!”

5. To be continued. (You understand being constantly interrupted)

6. You know how to butt block the oven to keep the kids from getting burnt as they run past.

7. One look at your baby’s face is all it takes to know they are pooping in their diaper or pull up.

8. You can sing “Let it Go” with great enthusiasm.

9. You claim your phone battery died so you don’t have to play that song one more time.

10. Sometimes you just eat the rest of your kids plates instead of bothering to make your own.


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