1. Instead of sitting back in contentment after a beer, you feel satisfaction after finding time to poop.
2. In the battle between sleep and a beer, sleep always wins.
3. You can’t think of a single hobby unrelated to your kids.
4. You automatically sing a long to Five Little Monkeys with great enthusiasm for at least a minute before you realize none of the kids are in the car.
5. While standing in line at the grocery market, you cradle bread close to your chest and sway your body back and forth to keep it calm.
6. You leave adults standing there with half finished sentences as you abruptly run into the next room to handle a kid fight… and forget to return.
7. Watching anything rated higher than PG-13 makes you feel naughty. You constantly glance around to see if the kids might catch you watching swear words, violence.. or worse…
8. Your potty mouth is a sugar mouth around other adults. “Fudge it. Fudge-meister. Fudge Noodles.”
9. You eat on plastic kid plates, even when they are at school.
10. Laundry is a daily torturous event.